Be Careful Who You Ask For Advice

Apr 06, 2022

Most people are eager to share their perspective. People who love, appreciate, and want the best for you will likely be happy to pass on their beliefs, wisdom, and life experiences to help you avoid making the same mistakes they did. 

If you're not careful, you'll see that it's also a trap. By passing on their beliefs, wisdom, and life experiences they're also sharing with you their fears, and most often they'll try to get you to see the world through their lens, not your own. They might try to convince you to see the world as they do so that they can feel justified and right in the choices they've made. 

Here's some guidance that I find helpful to make sure I'm being true to myself. And yes, I do understand the paradox that I'm giving you guidance to help you know when to receive guidance, so save it already lol.


Know What You Want And Be Certain You Can Have It

The most important step in getting what you want is knowing what you want. Before you receive guidance from others it's critical that you know what you want. Your life path and direction is for you to decide, not for others to decide for you. Every single person on the planet is built differently, so no two dreams, directions, or ambitions will look the same. Make sure you get really clear about what you want, then you can begin to seek out guidance and resources to assist you along the way. 

Belief that you can have what you want is of utmost importance. If you believe you can't have what you want, that's shame rearing its ugly head. Maybe you feel broken or flawed so you feel that some things are not available to you. This is a lie. The only reason something isn't available to you is because you don't know what you really want or you don't believe you can have it. 

I used to think that getting what I wanted was chance, coincidence, or even a mistake. No such thing. When you get clear and certain that you can have something, all of the forces of the universe align to support you. 

The line that I constantly repeat to myself is that "Life wants for me what I want for me." It works. 


Don't Share Your Desires With Those You Don't Trust

Trust takes time to build. For some, building trust with another person is the biggest challenge they'll ever face. When you do have a trusting relationship with someone, cherish it, because they are worth their weight in gold. 

On the other hand, when you don't trust someone, it's ok to wait for trust to build to share your desires and dreams. Especially when you are uncertain of your ability to create your dream, it's ok to withhold your ambitions from those who might not support you. At this stage, it's better to just share your deepest desires and dreams with those people who you know will encourage and cheer for you. 


Don't Take Money Advice From Someone Who Is Broke

Building a dream and creating your desires is always more fun when you're collaborating with others. Mentorship, partnership, or even just bouncing ideas off of the right friend will help and make the journey more enjoyable. When you are ready to gain support, please take heed of the unifying message in all of these tips:

  • Don't accept money advice from someone who is broke.
  • Don't accept success advice from someone who is not taking action to create their own success.
  • Don't accept business ownership advice from someone who is an employee.
  • Don't accept relationship advice from a serial divorcee.
  • Don't accept health advice from someone who is not healthy.
  • Don't accept advice on how to find more peace in your life from someone always in the midst of chaos. 
  • Don't accept religious advice from someone who is always scared, feels guilty, or feels shameful for being themselves. 
  • Don't accept advice on how to be happy from someone who is constantly upset. 

This list could go on and on.

The key theme is to find someone who already has what you want, and ask them for their experiences and perspectives. From their experience they will have some insights and answers for you which will help you get what they have and what you want. They're also more likely to inspire and advise you instead of trying to discourage you from your path. If they've really achieved what you want and they are truly living authentically, they'll celebrate you and support you on your journey.
If they are wrapped up in unhealthy pride, they might try to dissuade you because they feel insignificant, and their accomplishment is their sense of significance. Whenever someone else achieves the same as they have, someone living in unhealthy pride feels diminished in some way. If they have what you want and they discourage you, close your ears and move along.
When you find the right mentors and guides, you'll achieve results faster because of their wisdom and knowledge. Don't underestimate the support from the right people.


Be Aware That Your Family Might Not Be Supportive

I've found that families are sometimes the biggest blocks to creating what you want. Most families have certain "unwritten rules" and "unspoken agreements". The agreement in my family was that we were all blue collar laborers. When I told my uncle about my salary request for my first job out of the Marine Corps he said "Nobody's going to pay you that starting out." Ultimately, my first company met my request - and they even increased it by a couple thousand dollars. 

Family means well, but they're trying to keep you safe. They'll often try to get you to play it safe under the guise of love and protection. What family really does is try to keep you in the family mold, and make sure you adhere to the family rules and agreements. 

If your family forces their opinions and perspectives, lovingly thank them, but allow them to keep those opinions and perspectives. Let them bounce off  you like teflon. You're not here to fit into their mold, you're here to create your own. 


Putting It All Together

I work with many Real Estate Investors, and the successful ones always seem to have some things in common: they break their family mold and invest heavily in proven mentorship. The most successful people that I work with from any industry know that they can have anything they want as long as they know what they want and believe they can have it. 

If you're not living the life of your dreams, you're not clear on what you want, you don't believe you can have it, and you're not listening to the right people. If you are tired of living someone else's dreams and through someone else's fears, there are people out there to support you through your transition. I'm one of them.

And I'll never tell you that you can't have something you want. I'll make sure you believe. 

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

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